#28 Q3 Review

Hello my lovelies,

Gosh, I can’t believe it, we are three quarters of the way through the year! As I grow older I feel like time passes by more quickly. I honestly don’t know where the last three months have gone. Now, I am doing this review a little differently and I will be honest as to why: I really have dissociated a lot, so my memory of the last few months, even through journaling, are rather…blank. However, that never stops me! In this review, I will talk about two highlights and then challenges I remember. I will still state my goals of course.

Highlights

The Art of Zen course: I know I did a whole lot on this in a separate post but I just want to emphasise the fact that it is still so memorable. Being a part of this course really encouraged my practice and I found not only a balance to my religious Tibetan tradition, but a deeper understanding of the philosophy and way of life that Plum Village can bring. The Art of Zen has brought forth from me a new lease of life, a new connection to Mother Earth, to spirituality and beyond. I can, now more than ever, make sense of the world. I have become so dedicated to my practice that I am learning new meditations and wanting to engage in more mindful activities.
My first trip to Dorset in two and a half years: This was my first holiday in so long and too long since I had visited, circumstances were not in my favour a couple of occasions. It was beautiful. We re-created the proposal that my fiancé wanted to do. You see, I have a favourite place in this country and it is in Dorset, it was where my fiancé was originally going to propose, naturally I found the ring ahead of time when cleaning, and Dad was very kind in using his drone to capture the footage and create the most beautiful video. I now have a physical treasure to always help me remember the moment. We also had a lovely time dog sitting, Henry, he is a fabulous little pupper. It was just so wonderful to be back where I love, away from home, with people I love. Overall, it was fantastic!

Challenges

I think really, I have faced a lot of stress and illbeing, it has been one thing after another with my health, I have really tried but with the interbeing of my conditions, my experiences have been tougher than I hoped. I have had to take a few breaks from volunteering as a whole. But I am facing it all again because it brings meaning and purpose to my days. There have been a few bereavements too.

The main challenge has been learning to rest, its still hard, I simply have just lost the ability. I feel “lazy”, “unproductive”, like I haven’t “accomplished” much, or made the “most” of my time. I don’t even recognise the purpose of these phrases! Yes, accomplishment is empirically sound when it comes to the PERMA model, but why must it be done every day on things that don’t contribute to my goals? Why do I feel that being still is wrong? Something has a lot to answer for. Upon this reflection, I should probably try to look deeply at this, and find the source to then apply an antidote of resting.

I think that discipline element of being harsh on myself is playing up, as it does when I have a lot of health issues going on. But I lack the mindset really, to change it right now.

Upcoming goals

I am not making solid plans for these because I want to try and be gentle (which is working somewhat) with myself because I don’t know the full next steps and that is okay.

I still haven’t made my mindful guide, I would like to do that before year end, just a simple little one, not overly complicated, I may then share it on here.
I am currently in the middle of creating what I call a Spirit Manifesto. In it I am almost journaling and reflecting on multiple elements of my faith and spirituality. I want it to be a reminder to myself on why I am practicing the way I am, in all areas. I am considering psychology (both Western evidence-based, and Buddhism’s spiritual science), philosophy, religion, spiritualism and more. I want to create a keepsake for me to return to when I need it.
Calligraphy. I have wanted to do this for so long, I have some beginner materials in to try, I have found guides and am currently practicing. I want to do calligraphy as a mindful, non-tech activity where I can express myself. It is going well but right now it has only been different strokes, I hope to learn how to create words and phrases and really use reflection to gain insight and use this medium to present it.
Meditation. In Plum Village, they use “gathas”, or short poems, in order to create one-pointed concentration and fully experience the mindful breathing and sitting. I have almost memorised and am succeeding in experiencing five of them from The Art of Zen. In some dharma talks I have seen we can create our own, which I hope to do. Poetry is so mindful and I hope to once again, engage in mindful activities. For pleasure and to be present.
Attend a 15-week course on deepening my understanding of the origins of Plum Village and its practices.

This is my review, its been a hard time, but there is beauty amongst it. I am looking forward to the next quarter of gentle progression before I turn thirty and then have a New Year ahead of me.

Kindly, Leanne x