Nurtured Words

“There are few times that I feel more at peace, more in tune, more Zen, if you will, than when I force myself to unplug.” – Harlan Coben, Six Years

Hello my lovelies,

Here we are again. I thought today I would share a little more of my current experiments and focus on one thing that is popular in the wellbeing sphere: consumption of media and technology.

I know I don’t really need to explain the relationship between technology and wellbeing; it is clear that it can massively impact us both negatively and positively, however I find it leans towards more negative in the grand scheme of things. But that is just me personally.

In a world of social media, 24 hour news, videos, streaming, computers, tablets, phones – endless connection is abound. Yes, connection is a good thing, if you find it overwhelmingly positive I am genuinely pleased for you! But for those of us who struggle, I see you. I want to start off honest, I have a lot of technology. I have a phone, a tablet, a laptop, Prime, BBC, Channel4+, Disney+, Spotify. But I have no social media, however, I am also addicted to the news.

Basically I just want to tell my story…

I am the last of the millennials, so whilst social media was there as I grew up, it wasn’t the be all and end all – I didn’t live on it. I was very politically informed from 13 years old, it fascinated me, so I tested out different news sites. By the time I was 20, I was consuming Facebook, Instagram, trying Twitter, and eventually Reddit. I thought it helped me connect to others, instead I found myself drained. I would see everyone seemingly in the prime of their life whilst I became more and more unwell. Hours each day were spent online, I couldn’t do anything other.

This changed in 2019/2020. I couldn’t do it anymore, I was losing the joy of my usual activities, I felt the day was wasted, I was comparing myself, I was chasing the highs of reactions. So I ended up deleting all the mainstream socials, and I felt free for quite a while. But then I got sucked into Reddit which, to me, seems worse. There is chronic negativity on Reddit, try as I might to find optimistic, calming, positive subs. However, this didn’t help the unplugging much as this year I have been spending hours each day looking at the news on my trusted sites. It was the same thing over and over, subscribing to about six different outlets. I mistakenly thought by reading so often and going over things this would make me better informed: spoiler alert, it didn’t. I have found myself overwhelmed recently, and so drained, fried and frazzled.

I have been tired of looking at screens if I am honest. My eyes just hurt. My mind and Spirit need a break. I realised this a few weeks ago. I missed feeling in a good mood, and feeling in control of my day. My wellbeing has suffered because I have been too plugged in.

But funnily enough, it is technology that is helping me unplug. I have been using a free app called Focus Friend, you set a timer and a little bean will knit scarves and socks for you to purchase decor for a home. I literally focus on the present moment. The relaxing music also helps. I am absolutely loving it because it means I am doing something purposeful, including just being. I have also had a realisation that I can cut down on news. I realised it is just more of the same and it is out of my control what gets reported. However, I can limit it, that is within my control. So now, I limit it to two news sites, I only spend a few minutes reading and that is done three times a day. I cannot go without keeping informed but gosh it is freeing not being so impacted! Having time away from the news, from the incessant repetition of opening and closing apps is really, truly helping me feel better.

Technology and wellbeing is an important connection to make. Yes, we get information far more easily, yes we can continue to connect with friends. However, I ask: at what cost?

Little control is to be had when scrolling, doomscrolling is a thing and so much evidence from well-respected journals is telling us that overconsumption is causing a plethora of problems. From attention spans, to feelings, thoughts and actions all changing. I hated trying to get likes, I hated myself for not being as “successful” as others in life. I spent all my time hoping there would be good news, wholesome news, and there just wasn’t.

I still stream TV of course, entertainment is needed, but I am cautious of what I consume because I don’t want to feel worse after watching something. Did you know that spending more than 1-2 hours of watching TV can actually lower your mood? I experience this myself, I am left feeling restless. So again, I am trying to be more mindful.

I am not saying to get rid of everything, I know that is not possible. But I would love to see a revolution of people being able to face something other than a phone, to find new ways of connection, and genuine positivity from something. Being kind to the mind means finding alternatives to what may damage you. If you find that social media can cause a lot of negative emotions etc. please know you are not alone, there are others out there feeling the same. I am one of them.

Journal prompt: what media do I consume? Why? Does it help or do I need to unplug for a little while, or make more lasting changes?

Kindly, Leanne x