Nurtured Words

Hello my lovelies

How are you faring with the darker nights? I am writing a little earlier than this being published, but I wanted to reflect on my recent mental health assessments whilst it was still fresh but give enough time to see the outcome of said assessments.

When I knew I needed help in June, I self-referred to NHS Talking Therapies in the hopes of CBT in primary care. I had to book an assessment which I waited a month (July) for and after over an hour of talking deeply about my experiences I was told I was too complicated and it wouldn’t be appropriate. I would need to be referred to the access team who are the link to other care services. I had a second assessment over the phone to say I would need to see the Access team in person and it would be around six weeks of waiting, again I was happy to. However, I had to wait a further six weeks from that deadline.

Now, the assessment (October) went well, the clinician was lovely and she was thorough but understanding. I think what I found difficult was the complicated process and not knowing really where I would end up (or not getting care at all). The anxiety of assessments is real, this person who you do not know needs to find out your life story and current circumstances. For a lot of people, advocating is hard. I definitely am out of practice.

In the end, I will be in a sort of middle ground with an Interventions team. Not primary care. Not secondary care. But in the middle. I don’t mind this at all, the middle way has some significance in my life. There is currently an unknown timeline of when I will get an appointment and make a plan for my care, but right now I am happy to see where I go. It has been a draining process, I have had many a mood fluctuation, but I am a patient person.

I received a call early November to say that there is a waiting list currently for an appointment, so I am looking at, probably, early 2026 before I see someone from the Interventions team. It is longer than I would like at this point, but I am glad they got in touch. There is a bit of frustration at the length of time, especially after all of the assessments however, I will not take this out on clinicians, they are working with what resources they have. I can see why people despair at this system, but it is hard to truly understand one another’s experiences because each individual trust across the country has it’s own process, funding, systems and ways of working. There is no set standard, which there should be. It can be…inefficient. However, the contact has made me hopeful.

The clinician at the Access team did go through my notes but it was hard to still repeat even recent years, my amnesia is making things very difficult. I do hope I am able to be okay in the coming months until my appointment, until then it is just waiting!

Kindly, Leanne x