Nurtured Words

Dearest Medusa,

Here I am, in the hopes of being your friend, I think we are there.

Like amnesia you were born in the same moment. You came to act as a mother hen, hiding me from sight so I may breathe. You protected me with all of your might. I didn’t understand, but you did. It changed when I grew, I needed you more than I realised but you became angry, so angry and I couldn’t appease you. Everything set you off. Everything. You desired everything that was harmful, neglecting, outright atrocious to me now.

You seemed like you wanted me gone, to no longer have to be around.

I don’t want to dwell, but we fought and fought for years and look at us now? Friends. I, in a moment of clarity, saw we could be friends. I clicked and we just settled in to a routine. You would let amnesia take away the pain, and you’d remember for me. You take over when I need a rest. When life is just too much. You protect me again. Sometimes when I don’t need it. You do like to be a surprise to my partner. Like at Christmas apparently.

I accept you, and I forgive you for the harm. I forgive because I can no longer not, what happened is in the past, we cannot change the past and I no longer worry on the future. Maybe that is the buddhist training. In this simple, pure present moment I forgive you. Because you were for survival, but we are now thriving. We work together because I don’t want to fight and neither do you. We inter-are and you’ll always be here.

Please continue being calm, it’s the best way to be. Take care of us. You are my friend, I want to be friends because isn’t that much more joyful? Isn’t it simpler? I worry less, you worry less. I breathe, you breathe, we have space.

Thank you, Leanne x