Nurtured Words

CW: Lends to darker themes as a whole

Hello my lovelies,

This week in the second part of Wild Embers, I have spaced the two poems out to give you a reprieve as there are darker elements.

Graveyards and Gardens

There are graveyards

inside you

made of people

that made you ache,

made of memories

that you barely survived

made of trauma and heartbreak.

These graveyards

need to become

gardens

where you

plant flowers

that blossom,

for you to let go.

This poem, and the one following are bittersweet, the epitome of bittersweet. I sometimes feel I have too much trauma, too much heartbreak in my life and they have left gaping holes in my own garden of humanity. I was robbed so many times. I was robbed of goodness, and yet, that graveyard will always grow flowers, and new trees, the ashes of recognition nourish the grass and my stones are taken care of by those who support me. I just have to want to take care of my cemetery. and I try to do that now. My wellbeing no longer has to be dormant graveyards, I can have visitors know popping by with fresh flowers that I can tend to.

Too Much

There is a sky inside you

and it is made of flames

and it is made of rain.

But you refuse to release it

because someone you loved

once told you that you are too much

to handle when you unleash

all of your beauty,

your passion,

your vulnerability.

You are too much

when you are raw.

So instead, you hide it.

You hold in the storms

you slowly let the fire die.

All because you think

how no one can handle

your truth, your courage,

your pain.

This one was difficult to reread. I had to calm myself for a few moments after. Let me ask you, how many times have you been told you are “too much”? If it has been even once, that is too much. My illnesses run deep, my wellbeing is predicated by all those times of being too much. My self esteem plummeted. I tried my best from childhood to contain my pain, and then it became a question of how much was too much for others; so I bottled even more which led to explosions on an unquestionable scale. I have been called too much in recent times, I have had those around me act and hint at it. I do not retort, as that does not make me happy, So I simply say, okay. I actually like being too much sometimes because that passion is there, that courage is present; the pain is real. but I need not be defined by it, I just had to find the right people, and you know what? I really did find the right people.

This book, Wild Embers, it can be a hard reflection to see ourselves in, but it is worth it.

Journal prompt: how can you tend to your blooming flowers?

Kindly, Leanne x