Hello my lovelies,
My, my, the weather here has been so varied and that seems to match my life right now. Varied. Extreme. Large changes.
In the last few months I have taken a break from work, from projects and focused on my recovery, therapy and having a respite in Dorset. This was to get me back on an even keel, whilst I am still unwell (had seizures last night and fatigue today), I feel ready to start creating again.
I will be posting once a fortnight, possibly more and I hope to bring a range of topics, I would love to do a few on literature and the like.
Therapy has been intense, there has been a lot of skill learning and a refresher of different elements. I now have a crisis kit in what I call my housebag which holds all kinds of hobby things and items I may need – including my journal. The respite was perfect, especially for seeing the wider family, I once again felt at ease and at home. I saw many lovely donkeys at The Donkey Sanctuary, had the best ice cream I have ever tasted and just relaxed.
My moods have been up and down; whilst my hallucinations are lessening, my sensitivity to mood changes and seizures is increasing, don’t ask me about my sleep though. Either way, I can safely say I am learning as I go. I realised I am too harsh and disciplined trying to attain more and more accomplishment. The pressure became too much. I am now trying to take each moment, literally moment, slowly. I am not wishing my time away and I am trying to unlearn the need for pressure. I am finding it is helping me to be a being. I find I can cope better. Almost like a switch has turned on.
I have started up volunteering again with Resilience and helping other clients get back into the community, much like I need. I am in a good enough space again.
So, I haven’t been “doing” much, but I am living my life with authenticity. I’m not hiding. I’m not forcing anything. I am here.
Take care of yourselves, kindly, Leanne x
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