#52 my nights and sleeping

Bed rest can be good for you

Hello my lovelies,

I once considered myself a person who slept early to rise early, no matter the quality of sleep (thank you fibro for making it unstable). I was accustomed to it once because that’s how my family was. A few months ago something changed, my partner and I were not heading to bed until 11pm or 12am. And yet I was rising early still feeling somewhat refreshed,

Since becoming more unwell, my sleeping is all over the place and now I am in therapy I’m actively trying to change this. Given I have been someone who functions best in the AM, I have often felt rushed to get things done, make the most of the day, feel accomplished. I have come to realise, as I previously posted, that my intention has been wrong.

Despite all this, I am still finding calm at the end of the day even if I don’t sleep until late. Luke and I head up to bed after dinner, usually around 7pm, and rest. We find the perfect temperature and maximum cosy vibes. We now do what we have affectionately named ‘tandem time’. This is where we do our own thing but together. So I plan the next day for myself, check in on my wellbeing apps, then settle to read. I may also journal or complete another calming activity.

I suppose this could be considered intentional self-care. I am trying to rest without force. We as a society feel every moment should be productive, laying in bed as little as possible. I was that way for so long after having a reduction in being bedbound. I am now challenging the stereotype that bed = bad.

I have freedom of choice and I am aware of how lucky I am with this. I find it so much better for my wellbeing to have that informed choice. Given my illness, we are sometimes having dinner in bed when I just feel done with day – this is okay too! Upon reflection, I am finding a lot of joy in my calming nights, I feel unashamedly pleased I am caring for myself. It eases me into a gentle sleep. I nourish my body and mind and I can honestly say I look forward to nighttime and no longer dread it.